"Oh, the World" by Ryan Smith

How I love the world.
The birds sing at day and night
And the crickets and the bugs and the grass in the morning.
Oh, how I love the world!

Snow White and Rose Red

There was these flowers that were rosy red and white, and they had the exact same color as Snow White and Rosy Red.  Rosy would always jump in the field and catch butterflies, but Snow White was a little gentler than Rosy Red.  They would be running through the woods, and no giants or birds would be hurting them.

One day, a black bear stuck its head through the door.  Snow White screamed, and the goose flapped its wings, and another animal just freaked out, but Snow White ran away and hid under her mom's bed. The black bear said, "I won't hurt you. I just wish to go in your house and be warm."  So the mom said, "Oh, poor bear.  Come in and get warm."

Then the bear asked them if they could brush the snow off his hair, so then he came every evening and got warm, but when it was summer shiny, the bear said, "I must go for the summer." Snow White said, "Why?"  The bear said, "On the summer, the dwarfs break out of the ground and steal gold."

So he walked away, and then Snow White and Rose Red went out to the woods and found the dwarf.  Then the dwarf said, "Don't just stand there, help me," because his beard was stuck on something. They tried to pull on it, and then they had no choice, so they went in and got scissors and cut the beard.Then the dwarf said, "You have cut my beard off," and then they went back home.

The next day, they saw the dwarf again, and the dwarf said, "Don't just stand there, help me," because he was getting pulled in the water by a fish because he was catching a fish. So they had no choice but to cut the beard.  Then he said, "You have cut my beard again."

The next day they saw the dwarf again.  An eagle picked him up, and he said, "Don't just stand there, help me."  So they cut his beard off, and he fell down. So he got mad and then he walked away until he heard a growl, and there was some guy standing by there.  The dwarf ran away from the bear, and then Snow White realized it was her friend bear and then she married that one guy by the bear.  The end.

The Whale

There was a whale, and it was trying to find food.  There was a fish, and the fish said, "Have you ever tasted human before?"

The whale said, "No.  What does it taste like?"

Then the fish said, "It tastes alright."

Then there was a knife on top of a rock, so the whale went to the knife on top of the rock, and then he ate the person, and then the person woke up.  Then the person was awake, so he banged and then he slammed and then he kicked and then he flipped.  Then the whale said, "Get out of my mouth.  I have the hiccups."

Then the man said, "Okay, promise me you'll put me on the island."  And then the whale put the person on the island, and then the person lived happily ever after and the whale, too.

The person cut the whale's tonsils out into square pieces.  The end.

The Master Cat (Puss in Boots)

There was a kingdom, and someone had a kid and a cat. The cat went to a person and said, "If you don't give this corn to the king, you will be chopped in pieces in the pot."  So the king walked in, and then they gave him the corn.

Then the cat went to another person and said, "If you don't give this (something) to the king, you will be chopped into pieces and put in the pot."

Then the cat went to an ogre, and then the ogre turned into a lion, and then the cat was afraid, but then he went down and said, "Maybe you could turn into a mouse or a rat."  Then the ogre turned into a rat, and the cat ate him.

Little Red Riding Hood

There was a city, and Little Red Riding Hood's mom said, "Here, bring this to grandma.  She's far away." So Little Red Riding Hood said, "Okay."

So she was walking in the woods.  She met a wolf and said, "Where are you going?"  She said, "I brought this basket of butter and cookies."  The wolf said, "Okay, how about I go with you?"  He said, "I'll go this way and you'll go that way and see who makes it first."

Then she was running with the birds and butterflies, but the wolf got there first.  He knocked on the door and said, "Hello."  And the grandma said, "Hello."  Then the wolf said, "This is Little Red Riding Hood who brought you some cookies and butter." The she said, "Open the latch, and it will open."  Then he opened it and ate her up.

Then Little Red Riding Hood came and knocked on the door, and the wolf said, "Who is it?"  Little Red Riding Hood said, "This is Little Red Riding Hood who brought you some cookies and butter."  The wolf said, "Open the latch, and it will open."  Then she went in and then the wolf said, "Come get in the bed with me."  She said, "Oh, Grandma, what big arms you have."  The wolf said, "Better to grab stuff I think."  Then she said, "Oh, Grandma, what big feet you have."  The wolf said, "Better to walk with."

Then she said, "Oh, Grandma.  What big ears you have."  The wolf said, "Better to hear."  Then she said, "Oh, Grandma, what big eyes you have," and he said, "Better to see."  Then she said, "Oh, Grandma, what big teeth you have."  Then the wolf said, "Better to eat you up," and then he ate her all up.  The End.

Here is Ryan telling the story "Mr. Fox is outdone by Mr. Buzzard" from Uncle Remus and showing all his animals...again.

Uncle Remus

Some boy sat on an old man. He wanted him to read a story, but the grandpa said, "I'm not going to read a story to some old punkish kid." But he said, "I'm not old and punkish. I'm good." But the old man said, "Who did (I forgot) to the chickens?" And then he said, "Who has been poking people's eyes? Using something for dinner? Who has been doing something with my pig?" The little boy said, "I won't do it any more."

Then he said, "If I do, I'll bring home a lot of cakes." And then he said, "Ok." The old man laid back and put the cake in his mouth and began to chew and laid back up. A bird saw it, and the bird turned his head and said, "Wow! Brer Fox is dead. I sure feel sorry for him." Then he said, "I'm not dead." Brer Rabbit couldn't find Brer Fox, so he yelled, "Brer Fox, Brer Fox, Brer Fox!" But the bird pretended to be the voice and said, "What?" Then he said, "You know that Mr. Turkey Bag kept those eggs." Mister Turkey Bag said, "Now, how could that be?" And then that's all I can remember the end...THE END!

Rabbit Grossly Deceives Mr. Fox

One time the rabbit said that if Brer Fox was here I would make him spit all his words out right here. The rabbit was at the hospital, and the Fox came and said, "There's a party over here.  Do you want to go?"  But Brer Rabbit said, "I can't because I'm in the hospital," but Brer Fox said, "But I'm not." They kept on going and going and going, and he said, "My leg's broken."  The Brer Fox said, "But mine is not."

Brer Rabbit lifted up his leg and said, "What are you doing?" Then Brer Rabbit said, "What are you doing now?" and he said that he was pulling his pants down.

The end